Like anyone who is honest with themself, I have numerous opportunities daily to trust God. Whether it is an encounter with a difficult patient or safety in travel, for as long as I can remember I have believed that "God is in control". Being a parent allows for so many "extra" opportunities to trust Him. Tonya and I have to trust the faithfulness of God's Holy Spirit to draw our children's heart toward Him. We trust that in season we will see good fruit in their hearts and lives from our consistent discipline. And, as the parents of 5 young boys, we have to trust (seems like daily) that they will literally survive another day. (I'm remembering as I type this that just TONIGHT, Cale (3) was going down our large wooden staircase riding...a sit-n-spin wrapped in a blanket...sheesh!).
As I've thought more about trust lately, I realize that it has never been particularly hard for me to trust God the Father. I presume this is mainly because I've always known that He is Good and Loving. But, if I'm honest, I must admit that the large majority of the time I am "trusting" Him for things when life is really going well...smoothly, if you will. It isn't hard to trust Him when I don't have any real financial "needs" per se. Or when all my kids are well. Or when I drive a car that runs smoothly and the house is in good repair. Or when I have a great job. In fact, I'm really not sure how much I am trusting Him most of the time and how much I am running on "autopilot".
But what about when that is not the case? As 21st century Americans, my family and I are beyond blessed. We don't even know the meaning of the word "need"...we really don't. But what about when our children are really, really sick (like when Ariana had leukemia)? Or what about when they are given a terminal diagnosis and then die (like Anastasha)? What does trust look like then?
Well, I realized the other day that trusting God, truly trusting Him, in hard times is....well, hard. Really hard, in fact. Suddenly I wonder if His goodness is really that good. Or if His promises are true. It is painful, almost physically, to really wrestle to that place of trust when life is hard. To totally surrender to Him. To really believe that "God is good" as we've proclaimed so many times. But you know what? He really IS still trustworthy and good.
Even during the difficult times.
Especially during the difficult times.
And whether or not we can trust Him during those times, I believe, is a test of what we TRULY BELIEVE. But I can also say from experience that it is during the most difficult times that our trust in the Father is the most rewarding and satisfying. Knowing that the One Who made the heavens and the earth is the same loving God who knows and controls every little detail of our life is simply awesome. He is a trustworthy and good Daddy.
Our precious daughter Anastasha was given a terminal diagnosis, anencephaly, at 16 weeks gestation. As followers of Jesus Christ and parents who love her, we felt privileged to guard her life by continuing the pregnancy until term. This website chronicles our journey with her. It was created with the desire that her life might bring glory to Jesus, bring hope to those who read it, and proclaim that ALL LIFE is created by God with purpose and is precious in His sight...
My daughter has just found out she is having an anencephaly baby in August. We are so scared and don't know where to start. She is young and only works part time and is still on my insurance but we must still pay $2500 and then a funeral for a gift of God. where to start? what to do? She just keeps asking why but wants to carry to term this gift.
ReplyDeleteThere is no easy path on this journey, I'm afraid. And having a baby, even one that will die, is never cheap. But as you said, this life is still a gift from the Father. The worth of this little soul is greater than all the treasure in the world. I pray that you and your daughter will strengthened in the days ahead and that you will trust more deeply in the One who made all of you.
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